A Rose for Thought
by darkmickyangel
Summary: Rin's most important treasure is a Rosary he found when he was a kid. Does that make him the most religious person in the world? Probably not, but he understands that not everyone has their faith and is more then willing to help a friend who's a little lost. Even if he is going though a pretty tough time as well. (Based off a long-time head-cannon of mine.)


Little boys usually end up obsessing over something as a kid.

Be it dinosaurs, astronauts, race cars, every boy had an obsession, even half-humans like the twins. Yukio had a real medieval obsession. Knights and princesses, and dragons. Definitely the dragons- Rin swore they went and saw How to Train Your Dragon nearly eighty times while it was in theaters. (Then again they watched Pirates of the Carabine just as much when it came out)

Rin had been obsessed with pirates. Swords and ships and buried treasure. He had dug up the flowerbed one summer, looking for buried treasure. His father would sometimes make treasure maps and riddles for him to try and solve just like he would play dragon and knight with Yukio. There had been usually small bits of candy, or maybe some small change at the end of the trail, and it may have taken him a lot longer to figure out the riddles (Yukio would always get it quickly and sometimes spoil the answer, the nerd) but it was really fun. The finding part was always the best.

Even today Rin still liked finding things.

He had two small treasure jars on his window sill, pickle jars he had washed out to keep all the little treasures he found around town or on campus. One old jar was stuff his father had given him to find, besides the candy, he had kept it all.

The other was just things he had found while walking around town. Half sets of earrings, some really large acorns, small plastic figurines people had dropped, a rather worn, stuffed dinosaur. Yukio had always made fun of him when he came home with something random, and would add it to the jar. He called it hording.

Rin called it treasure. The two jars were by far his most prized possessions, filled more with memories than anything of actual value.

Well, besides his greatest treasure, that was.

It had been a low day for him. It had been the second or third year of school. Yukio, with his nose always stuck in that blue book of his, had been minding his own business when some bullies thought it would be fun to take his book away from him. Rin had broken his promise to his father, and lost his temper. He beat the snot out of the kids, and then the teacher had yelled at him, despite his explanations. She had put him in timeout, and went to call his father. Rin had been angry at her for not believing him, angry at the boys, but more than anything he had been ashamed of breaking his promise with his dad. Shiro wasn't going to be angry, just disappointed, and Rin hated disappointing his father.

It made him feel like an actual demon child.

Rin, thinking that if his father never found him to know that he had done something bad, bolted as soon as the teacher turned towards the phone. He had slipped out the open window quiet as a ninja, and ran. Not really knowing where to go, he snuck out of the school grounds, and found his way to a nearby park that his dad usually brought them to. Not the one right next to the church, the other one.

The one with the curly slide.

Rin hid himself in the bushes, so that the other mothers there wouldn't ask him where his parents were, and why he was alone. It was so hard. Every year he tried to do his best and not get angry. Not hurt people, or lose his temper.

Then someone would say something, or do something, and the next thing he knew he was in trouble. Because he had hurt someone. He always hurt people, and he never wanted to do that.

He always tried. But it never lasted. Rin remembered last week when they had talked about drugs and alcohol, and how they put you into some kind of cycle you could never get out of. Usually he didn't understand those kinds of complicated things, but Rin felt the explanation had applied to him somehow.

Rin felt like he was in some similar kind of circle, going round and round.

He was probably never going to get out, no matter how he tried he would always hurt people.

Rin wondered how many more times he would snap before they kicked him out of school before being a bad kid. Father could put him in a different school, but he would probably get kicked out of that one eventually. They would probably decide to lock him up in jail for being so bad. Rin sniffed, and whipped off the tears that started to fall down his face, leaning up against the wooden fence behind him.

He didn't want to be one of the bad people who went to jail. He didn't want to hurt people in the first place. It was all so unfair! Why couldn't he just be reasonable like Yukio or Father? Be able to think things through? Use his head, as father would say.

Rin buried his face into his knees, and cried and prayed that he wouldn't be a bad child anymore. He didn't know how long he stayed there but eventually he was all out of tears. He wasn't sad so much anymore, just empty. He wiped his nose with the sleeve of his jacked, sniffing loudly. It was getting cold, Rin noticed with a shiver. He looked around, noting that the sky was reddish. It would be getting dark soon.

He should probably be getting home, the others would be worried out of their minds.

He began crawling out from under the thick bushes, but paused when something flashed across his vision. Rin frowned and leaned back, finding that something was reflecting light onto his shirt. Rin put his hand in front of the beam. Playing with the intangible light. Then he looked over, to find the light was reflecting off a necklace entangled in the branches of the bush.

Rin smiled, thinking that at least today had one up, and he had found some hidden treasure. He crawled over, and untangled the necklace. It was all knotted up. Rin got it free eventually and he sat on his haunches, wiping the found treasure off to get a better look at what he had found. (He had gotten it muddy with his hands. The effect of him wiping it off was questionable.)

It was a Rosary.

Attached by links of a really old looking chain, the beads were round and small, made of what looked like a smooth blue stone that was greener in some areas. Intermittently there were white rose beads, and pressed into the start of the large loop was a flat piece of metal with Mother Mary on it.

There was a cross attached to it as well, caked in mud from his hands, but simple and shiny.

"Why would anyone throw this away?" Rin asked quietly, running the clean-ish beads through his hands. It was really pretty, and the chain, though old, looked really cool. He ran the rosary through his hand, the beads sliding along his fingers easily. Rin knew he was supposed to say some sort of chant as he went along the beads, he saw father and the others doing that a lot.

It was all about thinking over something about god's miracles, or something.

Rin figured, that if the point was to use the thing to think about god, maybe it could help with other things. He started over at the cross, and made the sign over his chest, thinking a small prayer, asking for god's help to help him through what he was thinking about, then slid the cross down, and thumbed the first bead. He bit his lip, looking at the beads. there were five until he got to the loop… he should probably start off with what he was going to think about, and then use loop to think.

"Here goes nothing," Rin took a deep breath.

"I always get angry, and I shouldn't." he switched to the next bead, saying a sentence on each one,

"I try not to get angry but I do"

"I hurt people when I'm angry"

"I don't want to hurt people"

"Hurting people is bad, I need to break this cycle"

Rin nodded, satisfied with these statements, he came to the flat disk featuring Mary, the start of the loop. He said a small prayer, asking god's help for solving this problem. He came to the first bead, deciding he wouldn't leave it until he made a step forward towards his solution.

 _I always get angry when people pick on Yukio, like they did today…_ Rin thought, looking out at the bushes, rubbing the bead in between his fingers, _So what if I keep them from picking on Yukio in the first place?_

Rin smiled and moved to the next bead, onto the next thought, thinking of ways to keep kids from picking on his brother. It was a lot easier to think this way, with an actual representation of his thought path. Rin looked down at the beads and grinned. Look at him! He was thinking! Just like his father and brother, and everyone else. It wasn't too hard.

"Rin!"

Rin blinked and looked up at the sound of his father's voice. It was so dark, when had the sun set?! Had he really been thinking that long? Rin panicked, shoving his new found treasure into his coat pocket, and began crawling out from underneath the bushes. His father and the others were searching various areas of the playground.

"Father!" Rin called, running up to the old priest. The old man turned in surprised, and Rin latched onto his leg, "I'm sorry! I got angry, then scared so I ran- but I lost track of time with my new treasure and I didn't mean to make you worry."

Rin felt himself be picked up, and hugged harshly, "I'm just glad you're okay, thank god" the man sighed, and with a grunt picked Rin up, "come on then, let's get you home."

Rin was taken home, and he was sent to bed without dinner, and grounded for a week. He had to apologize to the kids he had hurt (even though they deserved it). He didn't get kicked out of school, though no one seemed to like him now. Rin had to clean the entire church as punishment, the floors, the pews, the windows. It was miserable, but Rin endured, one thought on his mind.

 _This time,_ he resolved, _this time around I'm not going to lose my temper_. _I'm going to be a good kid._

In all of the confusion Rin had forgotten to show his father and brother the Rosary he had found, and it just kind of became his own little secret. He didn't have many things that were just his, father made him and Yukio share everything. So Rin figured if his father and brother didn't know about it he didn't have to share it with Yukio. He kept it bundled up in some old socks and kept it hidden in secret locations, usually places he would go to run and be alone.

Rin found solace in the beads on many occasions. He even learned the prayers and chants that went along with the necklace, it was probably the only thing he had learned before Yukio, and Rin was rather proud of that. Whenever he got frustrated to a breaking point, he would use the beads to calm down, sliding them through his fingers for each increment he calmed down. After he lost another job, or got in a fight, they would help him build up the confidence to go back home. Sometimes he got so lonely it hurt. The beads were always there to help pull him out from the tears.

He usually only used them in private. When he was a kid is was usually under some bushes or in a tree, where people didn't think to look for him. (Except for his dad, he always found him after a while). As he got older he found quite places where people wouldn't look at him weird. Like behind the small shrine, or the alcove around the side of the school that was filled with thick bushes, but just enough room for someone to sit behind, or the confession booth during the week days.

In a way he felt that when he used the rosary to think, Mary or Joseph was there to help guide his thoughts. Thinking was slow and difficult at times, but whenever he got stuck, someone seemed to suggest something to his brain, which then relayed it back to Rin, and Rin would come up with an idea he hadn't thought before.

Rin never found a way to hold his temper in, but found a way to lessen it he found if he spread the anger out over littler things, he tended not to blow up in one violent burst anymore. He did that if he kept it in for too long though, so he had to be careful. In school he couldn't make people stop teasing Yukio, but he found that so long as Yukio was with him people didn't bother him. Rin stuck close to his brother, and if anyone did anything to his brother while his back was turned- well he learned that telling the teacher was the best thing to do even if people called him a tattler. When he was faced with the decision of high school or just going into work, he mulled the beads over for an entire weekend almost, weighing the pros and cons. After father died, and the priests gave him a brief explanation of what the order was, during the funeral he had decided on his life goal, rolling the beads between his fingers inside his pocket.

Some may not have been the best decisions, but they were Rin's own. It frustrated him sometimes, that he couldn't think as well or clearly as others, like Yukio or Bon. They could come up with great plans in seconds, while Rin's general plan of action was just hit the thing or burn it before it hit him or someone else. They were smart and intelligent, and Rin. Well, Rin needed beads to line out his thought process.

The beads were his greatest treasure.

More than any of the treasures his father had given him, or that he had found on his own. They had helped him through some hard times, had been stained with his tears, and occasionally some blood from a cut or busted knuckles. When he was worried he would often run the beads through his fingers, and after his father died Rin carried it on him nearly for nearly everywhere he went, worrying the beads between his hands, either in his pocket of beneath the desk.

Much like he was now.

It was the middle of classes, and Yukio _still_ wasn't home. His brother had gone out on a long term mission last weekend, and had forgotten his phone. Yukio had called him on a coworker's phone Monday night, but he hadn't heard since. It was Friday.

On top of that Yukio had been working a lot lately. One time he had come home and had scratches and a bruise- which wasn't much, but one of the exorcists he'd been working with had to be _hospitalized_.

"Okumaru-san!" his aria teacher's voice cut through his thoughts, and Rin jumped up strait like a plank when he realized he was being addressed, quickly wrapping up the rosary that he had been in his hand around his wrist with a twist, and shoving the hand into his pocket. He accidently knocked over his sword with his chair, making it clatter to the ground loudly. Everyone rolled their eyes, like they usually did when the teacher asked him a question and he hadn't been paying attention. When the aria teacher chose him to recite something, it was as painful as pulling teeth.

"s-sorry," Rin winced apologetically, worrying a bead of the rosary.

"Le Apoztol'z prayer, zaid when one beginz a rosary count," the French teacher sighed, waving her finger admonishingly. Rin blinked when he saw a diagram of a necklace on the board, with the counts highlighted.

Ironic.

The teacher was looking at him expectantly, and he grimaced when he realized he had missed her question. Again. She waited expectantly without giving him a hint, as always. Man, why'd she pick today to target him?

"Uh…" Rin, caught Izumo shaking her head in her peripheral, and the sound of Bon face palming behind him. Shiemi made a motion to help, but it didn't.

"Right, uh" He took a long shot at the question and went for it, taking a deep breath he began reciting from years of memory, "Credo in unum Deum , Patrem omnipotentem, factorem caeli et terrae. Et in Iesum Christum , Filium eius unicum-"

"Okumaru-san, stop please" the teacher asked almost immediately, and Rin sputtered in embarrassment.

"Oh, d-did you want it in Japanese or…" Rin trailed off and sighed, giving up, "I-I kind of don't know didn't hear the question… sorry"

"I azked you what followed ze Apostilz Creed, not for le rendition dear," The teacher said, looking miffed, "zough I am suprized to 'ear you know ze Latin verse so well."

Rin pressed his mouth into a line, realizing everyone was looking at him like he was a frog with wings, "Oh" he hadn't even realized how fucking odd it would be for her to ask for the _Latin_ version, though a recitation wasn't unusual, she asked a lot of those which is why he'd gone with it.

"That's just- never mind" Rin admitted awkwardly, ducking his head in embarrassment, his ears were burning. Everyone was still looking at him, he'd screwed up big time.

"Sorry. After the 'Apostle creed' comes the 'Our father', three 'Hail Mary's then a 'Glory be'." Rin said, not moving his eyes from his empty notebook, "Then you recite the first Glorious Mystery. You meditate on the mystery for ten Hail Mary's, and then you start off the next mystery with a 'glory be' you repeat this until all mysteries have been pondered." Rin finished as quickly as he could, then sat down and tried not to die of embarrassment. He righted his sword, and used the moment to untangle his hand from the rosary, but kept it in his pocket.

The teacher smiled, "Very good Mr. Okumaru."

"Where the hell did that come from?" Shima asked blatantly, looking like he had just seen someone touch a bug willingly.

"Perhapse zen Shima-san can tell us ze first mystery?" the teacher asked admonishingly. And Shima gave her one of those easy grins that said there wasn't a chance, "oh well, one can 'ope. Sugero-san what is ze first Mystery?"

The stripped teenager stood up and replied smoothly, "the conception of Christ,"

"Very good. Now," the French woman smiled, he eyes glinting with the evil that only teachers could have when trying to prove a point, "Tell me; what doez zis mean to you?"

Bon blinked and froze, his mouth open as if he was going to say something. He closed his mouth and frowned, "Excuse me, I don't think I under-"

"It iz a very simple question," the teacher said adamantly, "what doez it _mean_ to you?"

"Uh," Bon shifted nervously, "It's the conception of Jesus so… pretty big?"

The teacher nodded, then turned to the other side of the room.

"Kamiki-san, 'ow about you?" she asked, "What doez it mean?"

The stiff girl stood up, and also floundered for a bit as she thought, "well it's not just big, it's the start of everything; Christianity is based off Jesus after all. I guess?"

"Very insightful," the teacher smiled, then rounded on Rin again.

"Okumaru-san." The teacher chimed musically, he rose with dread, "tell uz, what you zink about ze first Mystery?"

Rin sweated under the gaze of the entire room, and tried to resist the urge to crawl under his desk.

"It's not just the start of Christianity." Rin began, licking his lips nervously, "Gabriel's testing Mary. She will bear god's son, but only if she accepts God into her life." Rin said nervously, fiddling his hands together, "essentially."

"Go on," the teacher encouraged with a wave of her fan.

"Uh," Rin blinked up at the teacher. What the hell kind of train of thought was she on? Shit, he should have been paying attention.

"Well," Rin swallowed, rubbing his neck "when Gabriel first tells Mary she will bare child, she's startled because she's… well a virgin and made the vow of celibacy. She tells the angel so, and says that's not possible Then the angel says that it's going to be god's son, and all he needs is her consent. She does, and well... she becomes the bearer of Christ. But what It really means is that Mary is the first follower of god, because even before Jesus was born, or there was a church or anything she believed _in_ god, a-and followed him unquestionably. That makes her the first Christian in a way. Not only that, but that means that before god set standards for us to live by, for us to save ourselves from our sins, Mary was holy enough to be even considered to bear God's son. She was free from sin… which is what makes her the holy mother."

The teacher nodded, satisfied, "your Paztor has taught you well," she smiled, and Rin sunk back into his seat- red in the face.

"What we 'ave here," the teacher said, looking across the class room, Rin paid attention, because he was so lost and she would probably call on him again, "Iz le difference in _faith_. Okumaru-san 'ere iz Catholic," she said waving a hand casually, "Sugaro-san, Shima-san and Konekomaru-san are Buddhist, and Kamiki-san I believe you said at one point zat your grandmother was a Shinto shrine maiden? Moriama-san, may I ask; what do you believe in?"

"T-the garden of Amahara" Shiemi said quietly, twiddling her fingers. The teacher nodded and continued.

"So, there iz le variety between you. You each believe in different thingz, which is wonderful," she said, but held up a finger, "but! If I gave each of you le rosary, and asked you to ward off a demon with it, who do you zink will be ze most succezzful?"

"… Rin-kun?" Konekomaru guessed, and the teacher nodded excitedly, encouraging him to continue, "Because he has faith associated to it. He… believes in it?"

Rin blinked and gripped the rosary in his pocket- wait these things could be used to fight demons? What?

"Very good," she said happily, "different faithz, different beliefz, and different associationz. You can give le Buddhist Monk a death verze for a demon," she said pointedly to Bon, "but zose linez don't mean anything if ze chanter doez not have **faith**. Do you see ze importance of zis now? Everything Aria's do. Chantz, shieldz, what little offence zey can manage. It iz all powered by faith. Some have more zan otherz, and each different type of faith effectz ze demons differently. Zis is why ze order doez not limit itself to one religion, like ze old dayz. Becauze in being more varied, we become versatile and more powerful. Faith is le power stronger zan any demon can ever hold."

"So…" Izumi trailed off, raising her hand, "what if you believed in more than one religion? Would your faith power double? Or would it divide between the two?"

"An excellent question, Kamiki-san." the teacher smiled, "Ze field of Faith Projection is rather hard to study, and frustrating to look at from a scientific standpoint. Chanting haz been a method of fighting for agez, but it haz alwayz just been described as faith, not anything else. Zese last few decadez zough, ze True Cross Order has started to tackle the subject."

"zere 'ave been one or two studiez zat show an understanding of a religion helpz ze chanter exercise faith a bit more. Which iz why zose who advance in becoming an Aura will also be studying theology." The teacher smiled, then waved her finger, "on ze other hand, it iz a known and proven fact zat people who feel conflicted about their beliefz lose chanting power. It is an obstacle that had alwayz been present in ze Aria field- yes Konekomaru-san?"

"But isn't an Aura with absolute faith stronger then?" the small teen asked, lowering his arm.

"It is indeed," the teacher frowned, "however you all should know, such people do not train themselvez to _be_ of absolute faith. It is only something zat comes naturally. It is much more practical for us to teach Aria'z to be more versatile in zeir faith, zan stagnant. Which is what ze next section iz about." She announced happily. The bell rang throughout the room, "ah, it seemz we 'ave run out of time. I'll see you kidz Monday."

Rin was the first to leave, Shima had that look on his face like he wanted to talk to him- and for as chill as the guy could be sometimes it felt more like an interrogation than a casual talk. Rin just didn't think he could deal with that right now. He headed home. Yukio still wasn't back, but Ukebach and Kuro were there to keep him company.

It wasn't the same.

He fiddled with his rosary in his bed, to worry to read, and not tired enough to sleep. In the end, he went for a jog to clear his mind. He was surprised to run into Bon, jogging along the path around the school in workout clothes.

"Hey bon, what's up?" Rin asked, keeping with the boy's pace.

Bon pulled out his ear buds, and turned off his music player, "nothing much, what cha doing out here?"

"Just trying to blow off some energy," Rin admitted.

"Okumaru-sensei hasn't come back yet?" Bon asked warily.

"Yeah," Rin looked up at the trees they were jogging under, "I wish I could be there with him, but he gets really angry when I do that."

"Well, there's rules for a reason," bon said, "going against them puts more people in danger than anything else, you know."

"Ugh, you sound like Yukio." Rin complained halfheartedly.

"The point is to make you think he's here," bon teased, and Rin couldn't help but grin, even if it was a little sad.

"Thanks, I appreciate that."

"Your welcome" Bon said, and they jogged in relative silence.

"… So," bon said after a while.

Rin looked up, "hmm?"

"You're… catholic?"

"What? Oh, yeah." Rin said, and the awkwardness hung in the air, "Is… there something wrong with that?" Rin asked tentatively.

He knew some people had issues with others of different faiths… and Catholicism wasn't especially popular in japan, what with all the negative associations. He had never pegged Bon for being against other religions, but you never knew until you hit the nail…

"Nothing, I was just thinking about what the teacher said during class. About understanding religions for chanting." Bon explained, Rin sighed in relief.

"I have like, all of the old testimate memorized," Bon said, and Rin nearly tripped over his feet.

"ALL OF IT?" he asked, eyes bugging out- what was he a computer? How could anyone remember that much, "no way you could have that all memorized!"

"Of course I do," Bon's brow furrowed, and Rin was suddenly reminded of the mental capacity gap between the two of them. Bon was… amazing to be able to do such things. Rin would probably never be able to compete. He fingered the rosary cross under his shirt warily.

"It's just that, I don't think I've ever really thought about the meanings behind the words." Bon continued, and Rin frowned, not quite understanding what the boy was saying. Thankfully Bon noticed and elucidated "like what we were doing today. You knew so much more of the… meaning, to the words than any of us."

"But that's just because I've been exposed to it my whole life, right?" Rin asked, catching onto what Bon was saying, "if you gave me some Buddhist verse, I probably wouldn't understand it. I bet you know the meanings behind your verses more than any of us, after all you know so many."

"Ah… yeah," bon agreed then fell silent again, Rin wondered if he was thinking about something. Well, that was obvious, he had that scowl on his face… but about what? Bon said he didn't understand the verses right? Rin frowned, wondering how that could be- they covered that stuff in Sunday school, Bon should… Oh! Oh!

"Wait you didn't go to Sunday school?" Rin stumbled and blurted out at the revelation. Not going to Sunday school- or mass? That was insane! But Bon wasn't Christian so he wouldn't, would he? No he'd go to whatever Buddhists did, like mediate under waterfalls or something, right?

Bon stopped after a second pace and looked back at him. Eyebrow raised he sounded confused, "No? What's Sunday school?"

"It's- they teach kids about god and the scriptures." Rin explained, "Like what the scriptures mean, and what's good and what's bad- about Mother Mary, y'know? Those types of things."

"Like a supplementary class? Tutoring essentially?" Bon asked, "That sounds like it could be handy."

Rin nodded, "yeah, but it's for kids, me and Yukio went when we were littler" Rin explained, "But there are programs for older kids too, you could go to one of those- or even just go to a service or something."

Rin stopped, and ran in place excitedly, tail wagging and looking much like a little dog.

"You should come to one! Or a service at least- I go every Sunday!"

"That's… not a bad idea," Bon looked thoughtful, "If understanding other religions is supposed to be good, maybe I should go to a few. Wait. _Is_ there a church on campus?"

"Nope, crazy right?" Rin said, and Bon frowned as if he didn't think it was crazy. Rin did, but continued anyway, "Yukio and I grew up at an Abby, and we go there every Sunday- or," Rin lost a bit of enthusiasm, "or at least Yukio does when he's not working."

Rin forced himself to perk up again, "it's only a few train stations away- and they accept student IDs as passes. I think it'd be cool to have you guys come in."

It certainly would make the commute better. It was really lonely going out on his own- and he helped lead the youth group after the service. It would be a lot of fun!

Bon seemed to think so too, though he wasn't as childishly exited, "That sounds cool, I'll ask the others if they want to come and we'll meet up Sunday." Bon said, "Thanks."

"Any time man," Rin smiled, not wanting to lapse back into silence, he asked bon if he had read the newest chapters of a manga series he remembered Shima mentioning he liked.

Bon was vaguely surprised that Rin also read the series, and they talked about it for the rest of their jog. Rin left Bon off at his dorm, and went back to his own.

It was still as empty, but he didn't let it get him down. He took a shower, and pilfered some sleeping pills from Yukio's medical supplies. He didn't think he'd be able to get to sleep without them, sharing a room your whole life and then suddenly sleeping alone- it was weird.

Saturday was boring, and he wanted Sunday to be here already. Bon and they were coming to church! He'd already called the guys ahead of time to let the church know. Now- he couldn't wait. Also, he had sent Bon a time for him to be at the station by. He had been worried the chicken-head would say it was too early and call the thing off, but he had said it wasn't an issue.

The excitement wore off as the day continued though, and the loneliness of the empty dorm settled back in. Unfortunately he had a lot of studying to do, and homework on top of that. A voice in his head that sounded too much like Yukio kept telling him to do his work.

The dorm was just too quiet to stay in though, even with Kuro. Rin packed a lunch and lugged all of his stuff up to the school library. Rin sat at a table and tried to do some work, but even in the crowded room he still felt the ball of dread in his stomach.

Rin gave looked out the window warily, absently rotating a bead on his rosary, wondering if Yukio was okay or not, and when his brother would be home.

"Okumaru-kun," Rin looked up, blinking when he saw Izumi and Paku walking up, back packs across their packs.

"Good afternoon," Rin smiled, wrapping his treasure around his hand for safe keeping, but not putting it away, "what's up?"

"Nothing, just studying," Paku smiled, "do you mind if we join you?"

"Oh, sure" Rin said, and pulled the books he had spread out over the table into more of a condensed pile, Izumi and Paku sat across the table.

"Is that a rosary?" Izumi asked, noticing the beads around his hand.

Rin paused, blinking at the girl and then at the necklace wrapped around his hand, "oh, yeah."

"It's very pretty, is that jade?" Paku asked, leaning forward

"Jade?" Rin frowned, "you mean the beads?" he frowned down at them, weren't they just stone? Wasn't jade like… a gem or something? And green at that. These were a blue-green, but he had never really thought about it before.

"Of course she means the beads," Izumi said, the idiot at the end heavily implied. Rin knew she didn't mean it, really, so wasn't offended.

"I don't know, I found it when I was a kid. I've never really thought of it." Rin scratched his head.

"What a great find then," Paku smiled, and Rin nodded. This was his treasure after all.

"So, what are you working on?" Izumi asked, opening her back pack, "we could all work together on our homework."

"Math," Rin sighed, holding up said book, "please help, I'm so lost."

Izumi snorted and Paku giggled. They got out their work, and began going through it. Rin had been doing terribly, as expected.

Izumi wasn't a very patient tutor, but at least she was better than Yukio, who had a 'figure it out yourself' mode of teaching that was frustrating. Later Bon, Konekomaru and Shima joined them, and they basically spent all day doing their work.

With company, Rin felt a little better, even more so to learn that all three of the guys were meeting him tomorrow for the service. He reminded them what time to meet him at the train station (Shima wasn't happy, cause it was early). Izumi and Paku couldn't make it, they were doing some club activities or something that day. Still Rin was exited for tomorrow, and hanging out with his friends was really fun.

It seemed to only make it worse when he walked into his dorm that night.

"Yukio?" Rin called out, walking up to their room. Yukio's futon still wasn't unfolded, and Kuro looked up from Rin's bed, lazily.

 _He's not back yet._ Kuro informed dozily.

"I see, thanks Kuro" Rin grinned, scratching the familiar on the head, "you want to head down and get dinner from Ukeback?"

 _I already ate, I'm good._ Kuro said lazily.

Rin felt his smile faltered for a second, "okay, see you after dinner than" He walked down to the dining area, and talked with Ukeboch a little, the demon showing him some new recipes he had picked up. Rin thought they looked great, but couldn't pick up the enthusiasm. Ukeboch left for whatever home he went to after Rin had finished the dishes, and Rin could almost feel the silence crushing him.

He opened his phone, and found no messages. He opened his contacts, and hovered over Mephisto's number. Maybe the clown would be able to tell him when Yukio would be back?

But did he really want the clown teasing him about being so lonely. Rin locked his phone and went back upstairs. He set an alarm and snuck out more sleeping pills from Yukio's medicine kit. He shook the bottle with a frown, it was getting noticeably low. Rin turned the bottle over, to see what brand it was, and wasn't all that surprised to see that it was from the exorcist shop. He'd have to place an order with Shiemi for more.

Rin took the pills, set his alarm, and crawled into bed, Kuro curling up at his back lazily.

"Well, at least tomorrow's Sunday," Rin sighed, and felt the medicine kick in.

His alarm went off, and as always he got up turned it off, and went to brush his teeth.

'Only on a Sunday' Yukio would mutter every week, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes before putting his glasses on, 'why can't you get up on time every day?'

"Cause its Sunday, Sunday is mass" Rin mumbled tiredly to his imaginary brother, opening the door. He washed up, and went back into his room. He put on a nice, button up shirt and black dress pants and shoes. Then put his white jacket over them. His suit jacket was at the church, having needed a wash.

 _Have a nice day,_ Kuro said sleepily, and Rin gave him a scratch on the ears before heading out.

The church wasn't that far away from the school. He and Yukio made sure to go every Sunday, just like they had when they lived in the abbey. Partially it was because catholic churches were few and far between in japan and there wasn't another in the area, but also because Rin led the youth group meetings after the main mass, and both he and Yukio sung in the choir.

They had been part of the church as long as they could remember, helping with the cleaning, preparations and participating in the Sunday school classes. It had been Rin's idea to start the youth group meetings, and while there weren't too many teenagers that were interested in religion these days, the small group managed to have some fun.

 _And today Bon and the others are coming,_ Rin couldn't help but smile in anticipation, _this'll be fun!_

Rin stepped out at the train station, the platform not too crowded because it was still so early. He didn't see his friends- specifically he didn't see Shima's pink head of hair over the crowd, so he stood off to the side and waited. _His friends._ Rin thought with a small smile, running his hand over one of the white flowers of the necklace in his pocket. _Strange to think I have some._

"Okumaru-kun" Konekomaru called out, and Rin turned to see the trio stop out onto the platform. Bon looked the most awake, with Konekomaru not far behind. Shima looked like a walking zombie, which Rin teased him for.

"It's too early for this," he moaned.

"Tell me about it," Rin used to be of the same sentiment- at some point it had just became natural to him though.

Sundays were early days, "come on, we'll eat before the first service. The guys will have some donuts." That seemed to perk everyone up. They arrived at the church the same time he did every Sunday morning, 7:25 am. Only this time, Yukio wasn't trailing behind him, which was a little sad. Even with his friends there, it didn't feel the same.

"Is this really where you guys grew up?" Bon asked looking up at the cherry tree as they walked through the gates. The building had been rebuilt since Astaroth had decided to drive a semi into it, though despite half of it being new… somehow it didn't look any different.

"Yeah," Rin looked up over at the chapel cross fondly and opened the door to the living quarters. "I'm home," Rin called, as he toed off his shoes in the entry way.

"Welcome home!" Izumi called, a large grin on his face. The man was carrying a box of the small cups they used for communion.

"Oh are these your friends?"

"Yeah, this is Saguaro, Shima and Konekomaru," Rin introduced, "guys this is Izumi."

"Nice to meet you guys, donuts are in the kitchen, have as many as you want, and afterwards you guys can get settled in the pews. We're still setting up,"

"Need help?" Rin asked, and the brunet nodded, "yeah, can you get the bread packets? They're in the usual place."

Rin nodded, and led the others into the small kitchen for breakfast- there was also some coffee, which Shima wolfed down. "You guys sure are busy, can't you just set things up the night before?" Rin said to the priests around him, glad to be surrounded by familiar faces and not just alone for once.

"You guys go ahead and do whatever. I've got to help out" Rin said to his friends as he fetched the large bag, and he carried it into the chapel.

"Hey, welcome home," "good to see you Rin" Maruta and Nagamoto greeted him, each of them setting things up per the usual.

"Morning," Rin couldn't help but smile, he placed the bag on the table, "I'll get this Izumi" Rin said, and the man nodded, heading off. Rin filled the small table up with the cups, and then opened the large bottle of diluted 'wine' they used for the sacrament, dividing the liquid up with practiced precision.

He may not have been good at most things, but do something for 15 years and you get it down pat. After the juice was divided up, he opened the crackers and laid them out on the platter, making that flower pattern that his dad had been impressed with the first time Rin managed to do it. Once the sacraments were set up, he put all of the left overs away, and stowed his sword in the side compartment of the altar for safe keeping. Once everything was set he ducked into his and Yukio's old room.

They still kept clothes and some things here, but the room felt empty. Rin wondered if the abbey was going to take on some new kids, what with them grown and gone. He actually wouldn't mind that- growing up here had been great. But maybe with the old man gone… well it certainly would be different.

Rin pulled off his outer jacket, and put on his choir robes, by then the other choir members were gathering in the side room, and Izumi was playing with two or three kids in the Sunday class room. Rin was greeted fondly by his essentially extended family, and he caught up with all that was going on that week.

It was probably the first time since Yukio had left that he actually felt himself genuinely smile as he talked to Ms. Migume, who was exited that her pregnancy test had come back positive, and that her husband and she were hoping for a boy. He remembered the couple's wedding fondly and couldn't help but be exited for the woman.

"hey now, don't get him too worked up before service," Kyodo said, the man was now the head priest of the abbey, and was wearing white robes and stole for the service, "you know how Rin gets."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Rin asked loudly, while everyone else chuckled.

"It means what it means," the man grinned, checking his watch, "alright, its time, everyone line up."

They all lined up, and Kyodo opened the door for them. They walked out in two lines, stepping up onto the wooden risers behind the altars. They began the first hymn, and soon after Kyodo came in, and began greeting the altar, while the rest of the church bowed their heads. The service lasted for an hour and a half, with communion about half way through.

Rin didn't really pay much attention, just zoning out and enjoying the presence of the church. He had always felt it as a kid, but after drawing his sword, he felt it more so. Just the slight buzz of the hallowed ground, and the sharp bursts of belief. To some people it just looked like a bunch of motions, a routine that was done once a week. But Rin could feel the meaning behind the service, and knew it was more than that.

He wondered if when Bon and the others meditated, if they felt the same thing. Or if they could feel how alive this church was- that its messages were really being sent to the heavens. When it came time for personal prayers, Rin prayed for Yukio to get back soon. He really missed his brother, returning home to an empty dorm was just really depressing.

After the main service, was a small break, where Rin and the others joke around in the back room. Then there was the second service at eleven, but Rin wasn't singing in this service, because it was at this time that he held his youth meeting.

"Did you guys have fun?" Rin asked, as he exited the back rooms, out of his choir robes now, to greet his friends.

"It was wonderful," Konekomaru said immediately.

Shima elbowed him in the ribs, "mah, you never told us you could sing."

"Just these songs, I have to practice them a lot," Rin admitted. Yukio was a lot better than him. It was a shame he never sang these days.

"Did you have fun Bon?"

The chicken head had been somewhat quiet and started when Rin addressed him. Then nodded, "yeah. Of course."

Rin smiled, "the youth group's this way,"

The church had two rooms just off the chapel, right as you went through the side door by the altar. One was set up for the Sunday school, and was essentially a play room. The other acted as a staging room for the choir before service, and a bible study room that Nagamoto held on Wednesdays.

It was also where Rin held his youth group Sundays, during the eleven o'clock service. It was essentially a large sitting room with couches and a coffee table. Rin and his friends sat down and talked about the church for a while. Mostly the others wanting to know what it was like growing up here.

Slowly the usual floated in.

"Good Morning Okumaru-san. Ah, are these new members?" Yuri, a mousy girl, and one of the regulars of the group asked as she entered.

"Yeah, these guys are in my cram school," Rin said, with a smile, "they're… studying different kinds of religions, and I invited them to come."

He then did a round of introductions- to which another member interrupted halfway.

"Good morning" Jared, a half-American boy with blonde hair cheered, opening the door. He paused holding out his hands when he took in the room, "whoa- new people. This is so weird."

"I know right?" Rin chuckled then quickly finished the introductions.

"Nice to meet you," Jared shook their hands, and took his seat beside Yuri, "is Yukio not changed yet?"

"Ah, no. he's on a business trip," Rin informed.

"Still?" Bon asked, scowling.

"Still," Rin agreed bitterly.

There were two other youth members, another girl named Hana and her brother Takeshi. Once everyone was settled, and they could hear the service starting in the Chapple beside them, Rin started.

"Alright," Rin said, sitting forward in his chair, holding his bible between his hands, "so, Saguaro, Konekomaru and Shima, today was your first catholic service right? What did you two think about it?" Rin asked, and of course bon answered first.

"It was really interesting, are your services always so structured?"

"The catholic church has a set guide line that has to generally be followed, to be considered holding a real worship." Yuri said quietly, turning to Rin, "right?"

Rin nodded, "we could even get inspected, if someone complains that we aren't doing things right."

"Is all the kneeling part of that?" Shima asked, rubbing a knee.

"Of course, you don't stand before god. That would be an insult" Jared shook his head, Shima chuckled nervously.

"It all very… formal," Konekomaru said, "I've never been to a Christian church before, I came in with different expectations, I think."

"Most people are more familiar with the protestant churches" Hana said quietly, "They tend to be more public, I think."

"Not so much here, but in America they are," Jared stated.

"But Catholicism is the original branch of Christianity, right?" Bon asked.

"We are one of the most prominent around the world, and the one with the most structuralized organization," Rin cut in before Yuri went into an account on the varied beliefs of Christianity, while Takeshi insisted that Catholicism was the only one, true church. Bon could listen to that on his own time. Rin was not breaking _that_ 'debate' up again any time soon, "I know you three know the basics of the church, but did you guys have any questions about the service?"

They had a few, but mostly it was bon-things. The male was obviously trying to look at the church from a literal view, not actually seeing it for what it was. Rin felt like that wasn't really going to benefit him in the long run though, so he changed gears.

"alright, then, if you guys don't have any more questions about the basic's we'll just start what we usually do in these meetings. We'll start with Yuri, and go around so you guys go last." Everyone nodded and Rin clapped his hands and turned to the mousy girl, "so, Yuri-san. What happened this week that reminded you of god?"

It was a question he asked ever week, and while it seemed kind of cheesy, it actually did bring something to the meetings. Help lift people's spirits by thinking about positive things.

"Well, it rained Tuesday, as you all know," Yuri said, "so all the flowers around the campus were blooming. It was really pretty, and it reminded me just how wonderful god is, that he can put such beauty into something as simple as a flower."

"What types of flowers were they?" Rin asked.

"I don't know, but I got some pictures," She said, and produced her phone, everyone looked at the pictures, and then passed it on. Rin asked her to send him some so he could show Shiemi later.

"My turn then?" Takeshi asked, rubbing his hands together, always enthusiastic "so, for those who don't know, I play baseball. We were at practice, when one of my team mates found a kitten!" Konekomaru, Rin noticed, sat up a bit, "it was so cute and nice, but no one could take it home with them- and I thought; surly there must be a home for it. So I and my team mates posted a bunch of posters up, and sure enough one of our teachers took him in!"

"How does that relate to god?" Shima asked, his head resting in his hands. He looked bored, thankfully Bon tapped him to make him sit up properly.

"Because when you seek out help for others, god always gives you a way," Hanna said quietly.

"Hey, this is my sharing time, not yours!" the older brother pouted, but obviously was just complaining. Everyone chuckled, and it was Hanna's turn, she had volunteered to visit people at a nursing home, and told them all sorts of stories that she had learned from the people there, and Takeshi jumped in at the last moment, saying how it showed that god gives everyone different paths, and all of them are filled with joy in some way.

Jared related a manga he had read that week, one where they fought demons with holy items- Rin and the other three exorcists grimaced- and he commented on the religious lessons in the story, and how it was funny that god's word could be spread in such a way.

"Right, Rin, it's your turn," Jared said.

"Well I don't know how I'm supposed to follow that up," Rin admitted, and licked his lips, "so I was in the batting cages- practicing my swings," those stupid torture devices that Shura was currently running him to death on for training. He told the others that he was in kendo at school, and that he practiced in batting cages for arm strength.

Which technically, wasn't even a half lie, "any way I wasn't doing so well, so I got mad, you all know how I have a temper- and Yukio tried to calm me down. You know what he said to me 'that god gives us each challenges, but never more than we can take.'" That had been the day he had left for his mission, Rin remembered clearly.

"And what did you do?" Hana asked.

"Called him an idiot and walked off," Rin said, and everyone in the usual group chuckled, they knew how often Rin and Yukio fought but never meant it, "after I calmed down I came back and tried again. This time I managed to hit every single ball. So I guess in a way he was right, it wasn't so much of a challenge, but because I didn't have the right mind set, I couldn't accomplish anything. So in a way, whatever challenge god is giving you, you can handle it. You just have to have the right attitude."

"Says the one with grade an anger issues," bon snorted, and Rin raised his fist threateningly.

"Come over here and say that again" he said with a grin, and the others laughed, "Alright moving on. Konekomaru, thinking back on your week, does anything remind you of something god might have had a hand in, or remind you of him?"

"Hmm," Konekomaru put the tip of his chin between his finger and thumb, "well… remember yesterday when we were all doing our… theology homework together in the library? I mean, all of us are such different people. So I guess us being friends says something about how faith brings people together?"

"Theology?" Jared asked, and Ren frowned. He didn't remember doing that homework yesterday, was he even in that class?

"Yeah, it's a class we're all taking in our cram school," Bon said, "that's why we came today, because our teacher was talking about how understanding other religions is a barrier. So we decided to come and see what another religion was like, rather than just reading about it."

"I don't think I'm in that class, it sounds interesting though" Rin said.

Shima face palmed, and Bon looked furious.

"It's the Aria class you idiot! What other class would I be talking about" he yelled, and Konekomaru tried to calm him down.

Rin blinked, making the connection. Suddenly the homework he had been struggling with made sense, "OH! Is that what this unit is about?!"

"Are you kidding me?!" bon asked loudly.

"Looks like Rin's not the only one with anger issues." Hanna chuckled.

Bon's face went red and he sat down, buttering an apology.

"My turn right?" Shima asked, encouraging Bon to calm down, "hmm, well. I saw some really pretty girls this week, even got to talk to five or six. That's a blessing in itself."

"Ugh, can you really think of nothing else?" bon asked, Shima just grinned and shrugged, "you're embarrassing. My turn then…" he pressed his hands together and held them in front of his face, his thumbs tucked under his chin, "well… I talked to my mom last night and everything's getting back together at the temple, construction should be done in a month or two-"

"Temple?" Hanna asked.

"Hai, my family runs a Buddhist temple in Kyoto…" Bon said, "Shima and Konekomaru's family are affiliated with the temple as well."

"Technically they're supposed to be his body guards," Rin pointed, grinning, "which is funny because he's like, supper buff and protects them all the time."

"Hey we do our best," Shima whined, while Konekomaru looked ashamed.

"So you guys aren't even Christians?" Takeshi frowned, "then why come here at all?"

"It's a really interesting story, actually," Shima held up a finger, "see in our theology class- well we say theology it more discusses different religions and texts. We were going over the rosary, and the teacher asks Rin what the order of the chants for it are. Per the usual, Rin was asleep," several snorts from around the room at that, Rin blushed, "and of course the teacher calls him out and is like 'what is le answer?' she's French. Rin panics, sees the rosary on the board and just starts reciting the chants in like Greek or something-"

"Latin" everyone in the room corrected as one voice.

"Latin, right." Shima waved a hand, "so this surprises us because none of expected him to do that. The teacher stops him, and repeats her question. And he answers it, and then just sits down. Talk about mind blown- Rin never gets anything in this class right."

Rin blushed heavier, but let Shima go on, "so then she calls on bon and asks him something along the lines of 'what do you think about this?' and he completely fumbles and drops the ball. Which is unusual since he's the top in our class. Then she goes right around and asks what Rin thinks- and he goes off on this huge tangent-"

"She asked us what the first glorious mystery meant to me," Rin explained to the others, "which is rather mean," he said pointedly to Shima. Hoping he would get the message and drop the story, "seeing as bon isn't Christian. I mean, if you aren't a religion you can't really form a strong opinion about it, right?"

"He _totally_ one upped bon," Shima said with a grin, "Friday night he came back to the dorm and was like 'the teach was right, we should see about understanding the meanings behind other religions' and now we're here to somehow regain his dignity."

"Dignity, what does that have to do with anything?" Rin blinked.

"You totally slaughtered him in class Friday- you, Mr. 0.2 average on tests." Shima admonished, "of course he's jealous of your knowledge,"

Rin blinked and looked over at bon, really? Wait- what?

"I am not," Bon said defensively, "the teacher said not understanding other religions is a barrier, and Rin made me realize she had a point. So that's why we're here. Rin invited us here Shima. I'm not here to get even with anyone."

"Still the same thing, just placed in a better light," Jared said, and the others chuckled when bon blushed.

"Wait… you're jealous of me?" Rin asked, pointing to himself.

"No, I'm not!" bon insisted, and for some reason the others found that funny.

"Ah I see," Takeshi said, placing his hands together as if having a revelation, "Rin-san's faith in god and his religion inspired you to come here then."

"Where in the world did you get that idea?" Bon asked, looking constipated.

"If you aren't jealous, that's the only other explanation," Hana said simply.

"So, are you jealous, or having doubts about your own faith?" Jared asked, and Rin noticed that Shima and Konekomaru looked suddenly worried as bon didn't say anything. Rightfully so, Bon was the future leader of their church, is he was having doubts… then what would happen to their temple?

"Oi. Stop being mean," Rin sat forward, "of course Bon's not going to admit he's jealous, cause he's stubborn," Rin shook his finger at Takeshi, "don't go around putting people in tight spots, it's not nice. Especially to our guests. Now apologize, please."

"But-"

"Other people have faiths" Rin said cut him off, crossing his arms, "and while in our eyes they are wrong, that does not mean it is any less important to them. I for one am grateful for this opportunity to share our faith with others, and show them how wonderful our beliefs are. Calling someone out and making tension like this gives us a bad image, please apologize."

"Hai," Takeshi said quietly, then turned to bon, "sorry, I was out of turn."

"You to Jordan," Rin said and the blond sweat dropped.

"Okumaru's wrath never falls on one person, but I guess I deserve it. I'm sorry Suguro-san."

"good, now while we are on the subject of other religions, let us not make this so one sided," Rin said, pressing his hands together he turned to the others, "you know, I've always kind of heard what Buddhism is about, but never gotten any sort of proper introduction. Wait… that's a little hard to put out there… let's start with: how's Buddhism different from Christianity? In your opinion." Rin asked, looking directly at bon.

"Well, at our temple it goes something like…" the bi-colored hair teen started talking about the structure of his temple. Rin was completely lost. Yuri and Jordan seemed to get it though, and began asking questions. Hanna eventually got Takeshi to join in when she was able to point out similarities between the beliefs, and the good mood was soon regained. When bon asked him a question and Rin admitted he had been lost for a while he got a little angry, and then started _charting_ out the differences. Which made it easier, but why he did such a thing Rin didn't quite get. Eventually he got it and it was rather interesting to learn his friend's beliefs.

"I think this could be a really fun project," Yuri said, taking a picture of the board, "we should do this with some other religions, and see how similar they are."

"Kamiki's Shinto, maybe we could invite her and Paku?"

"Yeah, isn't her family a line of shrine maidens?" bon said, "We could post it online or something."

"Or maybe send it to church itself. I think they would be very interested to see what your age group thinks about differences in religion" Kyodo said from the open doorway, Izumi looking over his shoulder,

"I see you guys are still at it? That's rare." The brunet man said.

"Is the service over already?" Rin asked, and Izumi nodded.

"I think today was a really productive day. It was cool having some new people to hear from," Rin stood up, and so did the others, "I hope you three can make it again, I'll see the rest of you all next week. Have a good one" Rin said, watching the other teens go, he stopped his three friends from walking out with a raised hand, "Izumi, these guys are going to stay here for a bit, is that cool?"

"Fine by me, you guys want to stay for lunch? Rin's cooking."

"Of course!" Shima replied immediately, and Izumi headed off to change since they didn't have any more services until that evening. Rin had to clean up the plates and cups as well as any stray trash in the chapel, but after that he gave his friends a general tour of the abbey.

"I still can't believe you went and pulled a Yukio like that," Shima said, sitting down on the couch in the living room.

"A what?" Kyodo asked, he was dressed in his usual black suit, and was carrying a six pack of sodas. He took one off and handed it to Rin.

"Takeshi said something rude- ah, sorry about that by the way." Rin said, taking a soda from the priest, who went to give them to the others.

"It's no problem" bon said absently, taking the soda.

"So, you're the head priest here?" Konekomaru asked, looking at Kyodo, who sat down in a chair, opening his soda can.

"yeah, as much as he hates it," Izumi said ducking in to say that, but left immediately when Kyodo made to get up and chase after him. Rin couldn't help but laugh, back when they were kids Kyodo would always threaten to chase Izumi down and shove a sock in his mouth if he didn't stop embarrassing him.

Izumi called him out one day, and much to everyone's amusement Kyodo actually did chase him down. It was an old joke that they all took in good humor. Ah, memories.

"You don't like being a priest?" bon asked curiously.

"More like I don't like public speaking," Kyodo sighed, sitting back down, "but when our last head priest passed away, I got nominated to take his place." The man said, tipping his soda to a picture of dad on the mantle.

"He gets really nervous before each service. It's hilarious, sometimes we have to talk him into going out on the floor," Rin ginned.

Nagamoto walked by the doorway and stuck his head in, "hey, we're going to get some things, you guys need anything?"

"Ah, if I'm cooking for everyone you'll need to get some more eggs, and meat" Rin said, and the man nodded.

"Punch Izumi in the face for me," Kyodo raise his glass, and Nagamoto snorted.

"Punching's your thing, I wouldn't be able to hit that weasel." the man said, jotting down Rin's request on a note card.

"Then summon something to bit his ass!" Kyodo called after the man, getting a faint laughter as a response.

"Summon- wait are you guys exorcists?" Shima asked.

"Oh, did Rin not tell you?" Kyodo blinked, and Rin sweat dropped, it had slipped his mind, "ah, then let me give you a proper introduction." he said, sitting up in his chair and holding out his can, "Kyodo middle first class knight, aura, and doctor. Nice to meet you."

"I didn't know you were a doctor as well," Rin said.

"Fujimoto-sempai was big on multiple meisters," Kyodo said.

"Wait, Fujimoto- isn't that the name of the last paladin?" Konekomaru asked, "The traitor?"

"He's not a traitor!" Rin said adamantly, making the smaller flinch, Rin clicked his tongue in annoyance, "he raise Yukio and I instead of killing us when he was given the order. I don't know what you'd call that, but I'd say not murdering two babies right after they're born is the right thing to do."

"all of us here were Fujimoto's on hand squad," Kyodo said after taking a drink, "most of us owe him our lives, some of us just didn't like the fact that the twin's mother was persecuted so harshly. So we hid the kids in secret for as long as we could. Most of us lost our status when the Vatican found out, but rank's not that important if you ask me. It's being able to support your team members. Shiro Fujimoto understood that, and that's what made him a good man, and the Vatican not like him so much."

"I never knew the rankings were politically driven," bon said quietly.

"of course they are, it's a burocracy," Kyodo said, "but don't let that get you down. If you do good work, 99% of the others will appreciate that. It's your team members that matter,"

"Yeah, who cares about names or family ties," Rin said, "I'm the son of Satan, but that doesn't define me. it's my own actions that do, and I'm going to protect and help as many people as I can, just so everyone can see that."

"A lot of talk for someone who forgets what class he's taking," Shima added, and Rin glared down at him.

"No yakutsoba for you."

"What?! No!" Shima yelled, then began begging for forgiveness. The others came home with the food soon, and they moved to the kitchen. The others talked to the priests amiably, asking questions about what types of missions they had been on with dad. Rin had already gotten most of them out, but it was interesting to hear them again. Rin noticed that Bon was being quiet however. Preferring to listen rather then ask questions. He frowned at this, but didn't say anything.

After dinner, they had to get prepared for the next service. The guys had lots of questions about how things worked exorcist-wise as they set up, but Rin wasn't too interested. He didn't want to look at the objects and see them as tools. He walked over to Bon, and tapped him on his shoulder

"Walk with me?" Rin asked, and the boy nodded hesitantly. He led the other out to the swing set, and took a seat on the swing. Bon took the one beside him after a second.

"What's up?" Rin asked.

"Nothing" bon said, and Rin shot him his best Yukio face, the boy sighed, "Fine, I was thinking about… well you know."

"What Takeshi and Jordan were on about?" Rin asked, and bon nodded. Rin swallowed, he had figured, "so is it jealousy or doubt?" Rin asked, kicking the dirt with his feet.

"I don't know- I thought it was jealously but then they said that and…" bon shook his head, "Friday when you were talking about what you believed, it was genuine. I could actually tell that you believed what you were saying. And… I wondered how you could do that. Then I got to thinking, if I'd ever had that kind of belief in me."

"And do you?" Rin asked.

Bon ran a hand through his hair, "you know Friday… when you said that I'd know the meaning behind the Buddhist prayers better than you would?"

"I said that?" Rin frowned trying to remember if he had.

Bon looked at him and then clicked his tongue, "che, you forgot? It was Friday."

Rin shuffled his feet in the dirt absently, "I forget lots of things," Rin admitted, "you and Yukio are similar, and you don't forget things. But you two say lots of things you don't mean, while I'm the opposite. I never say or do anything half-heartedly. So, who's the one at fault here? If I said something that made you worry, why didn't you tell me then? Why wait two whole days to say something about it?"

Bon opened and closed his mouth several times, then sighed, looking somewhat defeated, "I guess I didn't know what I was feeling at that moment."

"I guess that's understandable," Rin kicked off the ground, and let himself swing back and forth for a bit, "so, what's eating you?"

"I… know almost all the sutras and texts and beliefs by heart," Bon said, "but… I think seeing you have such a strong faith in something you don't know all that well, made me realize that my own faith isn't… I don't even think I believe in it anymore." Bon admitted, "You said I would know the meaning behind the sutras but… all I can give you are text book answers."

Rin let himself swing to a stop, considering Bon's dilemma. So it was doubt… good. That was less confusing than him being jealous of Rin.

"We all have doubts in our own faith at some point in our life," Rin said, "that's part of being human, to question things. But… in a way that's the test. To not question things."

"But how do you **not** question something?" bon asked, sitting on the swing beside him, "how can you just do something blindly?"

"It's not blindly, not all the time" Rin said but then frowned, he could say such things because it was simple for him. He couldn't think like Yukio and bon could- for them it must be harder. He couldn't use his own experiences to explain this to him.

"But-"

"No, that's wrong" Rin waved a hand, "forget everything I said, it'll just confuse you."

"Ha?" bon raised an eyebrow.

"Let me… think of a way to explain this." Rin said, and he pulled the rosary out of his shirt and off his neck to wrap around his hand. Just seeing holding the beads gave him an idea.

"What I am understanding," Rin reached over, and placed a hand on the boy's shoulder, the beads on his hand clacking deeply, "is there is a pile burdens sitting on top of your shoulders. They're heavy bon, aren't they?"

Bon swallowed, and looked down at his hands, "yeah"

"it's hard to believe in faith, when things get heavy" Rin said, "but what most realize, is that through faith, belief can help you carry those burdens farther than you ever could on your own."

"I see it every Sunday," Rin looked up at the church, where people were walking in for the service, "people go in, and when they come out- it's like their burdens are just a bit lighter. They're cleansed, renewed. Because they've reached out, and their prayers are being answered. Anyone who reaches out to their god, or beliefs with enough faith will have the same results. But they have to find the right ways to reach out. For some people church isn't for them, it doesn't do anything to them."

Bon frowned, "so you're saying… I need to find what works for me?"

"Essentially" Rin said happily, and placed a finger on the boy's chest, "you need to find a way to put yourself out there. Let _them_ know, let the spiritual energy of the heavens know that you're in distress."

"I put myself out there- and ask for help, for forgiveness. I'm unworthy, we all are- but that's the beauty of God, Bon. He helps anyone and everyone, he's a wellspring of forgiveness. You just have to seek him. It's completely different then just praying and hoping for the best. It's praying and being lifted, even if just a little bit, but prayer like this, like Christianity isn't for everyone,"

Rin gestured to the church, "People walk away lighter, and some people walk away heavier. Because through this medium they don't find that connection with god or heaven. It's not for them, and it's definitely not for you. That's why I'm telling you not to follow me and how I do things.

Bon frowned and Rin nodded, "I could tell. Through the service, the bible study- that chart you made. You approach things so methodically- you _think_ Bon. Do you know how hard it is for people like me?" Rin gripped the Rosary in his hand and looked at it sadly, "I can't, and it's hard and the more you make me try to the less it's going to work- but following and understanding god? Being a sheep in the lord's flock. I can understand that- I can believe in a force so forgiving that even the son of Satan would be welcomed. You're not like me. You need to find your own path. You see what I mean?"

Bon stared at him for a while, then turned to look at the ground, "my own path? As in my own faith?"

"Some way you can reach out to the heavens." Rin nodded, "I know you're supposed to be a Buddhist monk eventually so why not actually try that? Or keep coming to church if you feel like it clicked. Maybe try a few others. Find what you know you can put your faith in- and give it your all. That's all it takes."

"If I'm not a Buddhist, then how am I supposed to lead my temple?" Bon asked, and Rin could see the stress in his eyes.

Rin felt a smile growing on his face, "all that means, is you'll become a teacher of that faith? My father, the one who built this abbey? The one who raised us?" Rin nodded to the building beside them, and gave Bon a wink.

"He was an atheist."

That certainly made Bon choke in surprise.

"The ex-paladin?"

"And a certified trouble maker- he and Mephisto were the best of friends." Rin chuckled, "I heard they often made the order livid. But the point is that just because you have to grow up and inherit the temple doesn't mean you have to be a hard-core religious nut about it."

Rin pointed out and started to swing a little, "but I doubt that will happen. You've been determined to get that thing back for how long? Buddhism will be the road that will take you there. You just haven't found the right path yet. It was you who said during the youth meeting that Buddhism was just as varied as other faiths, if not more remember?"

"I did, didn't I," Bon said quietly, and became thoughtful. He started to swing on the set with Rin. The two contemplating this concept in silence.

"Hey, what does it feel like, when you reach out?" Bon asked.

Rin slowed down a bit to watch Bon swing, and then looked over at the church. There were people walking in now for the evening service. All dressed up nicely and talking with each other in a friendly manner.

"It burns" Ren admitted.

Bon stopped his swinging, kicking up some dirt, looking at him with wide eyes.

"It what?!"

Ren slowed down and came to a less jarring halt, "it burns," he turned to make eye contact with his friend. Not letting his gaze waver.

"Faith does that to demons, Bon. Faith does that to people to. It _hurts_ Bon, and it's scary to put yourself out there, to be alone and have everything out there for the heavens to see. To put your faith into something you can't see and trust it to be there for you. But afterwards, I feel better. More open- cleansed. Lighter. I'm less angry, and calm. For a while I'll feel like I don't have to fight anything for stupid reasons even I can't explain."

Rin broke the eye contact, and stood before his friend, gripping the chains in both hands and leaning forward to where their foreheads were almost touching.

"So Trust me Bon, there's something worth believing in out there. You just have to find it. Maybe through mediation, maybe through chants, or even confession. When you find it you'll just _know_ , so go out there and find it." Rin said with a sad smile, "You're a thinker Bon. So find something that makes you think- and follow it with all your faith."

Rin didn't really have much more to say, so he let go of the chains and stepped back, "and if you need help just let me know, and I'll be happy to pray for you, or even with you- and I don't know if you know about confessions but I can do those to. Just be patient with me when I come asking about karma. I know I got something good talking to you like this."

Rin clapped his hands together like Bon did when he was praying and winked. Bon rolled his eyes.

The church bells behind them rang and Rin turned his head to look back at the building.

"We should be getting back inside, the service will be starting soon and I have to change."

Bon didn't say anything, but he got up and followed Rin back into the church. Rin quickly changed into his choir robes and got in line while the other's hung back in the abbey side room. After the final service, they all walked back to the train station together.

Shima, Rin and Konekomaru talked about their favorite manga series, while Bon sat off to the side, obviously still taking his words in.

They stepped out onto the station, and Rin's phone began to ring. He looked down at the screen and grinned, seeing it was a text from Yukio. He shoved the phone immediately in Bon's face, who reared back, "see! Karma! Has to be!" Rin cheered, and Bon's eyes widened more.

Rin didn't hesitate to answer the call, "Yukio! Welcome back!"

"Nii-san," Rin ginned as Yukio's tired voice came through the speaker, "sorry I missed the service today."

"It's cool! You had work, I understand," Rin couldn't help but smile, "oh, but guess who was there instead? Bon and his two shadows- apparently Bon's jealous of me." Rin ignored and indignant shout from the esquire, "Everyone says hi, oh and I've got some left over yakisoba for you," Rin said excitedly, walking towards the exit, "we're getting off the train now, are you still at the dorms?"

"Yeah, I just got back, sounds like you guys had a lot of fun," Yukio sounded tired, but he was back, back and uninjured- because Mephisto would be calling if he had been.

"Not as much fun without you there," Rin admitted quietly- he was far enough away from the others so that they wouldn't tease him for saying something so lame, "I'll be home soon, okay?"

"I'm going to get in the shower, I'll be here when you get back,"

 _You better be, I've been worried sick._ Rin caught himself from speaking out loud, instead he just smiled sadly, "kay, see you then." He hung up the call and told the others good night.

A few minutes later when he burst into the boy's dorm it wasn't empty for once. His brother was back, and his nagging and the sound of him just living in the same building broke the silence- and Rin couldn't have been happier.

The lord had answered his prayers and brought his brother back home safely. He'd be sure to thank him this evening, and even put in one for Bon as well. Rin felt as if the young monk still had a long road to walk before finding his way.

 **A/N: I do not own any of the characters or the series.**

 **Another story I have been sitting on and finally got around to publish. Funny that finals come around and I start publishing these things. coincidence? No it's pretty much a set thing by now, I** **work on them over the semester.**

 **Rin might get a bit out of character near the end? I don't know. that scene with Bon is exactly what has been keeping this in my folder for almost a year now.**

 **Something that always bugs me about Blue Exorcist (** which I love, just bear with me **) is that for growing up in a church- the kids are pretty damned absent of faith. I know the series stays really faithful to the ideas and bring in some finer points about the Catholic Sect. in its story line- contrasting it well with Eastern beliefs. Which is exactly why all of my catholic friends love it. But do you see the twins going to church? or confession? or any sign of them having religious affiliations besides the fact that; hey they grew up in a catholic abby so it should be their thing? **

**Nope, rarely if ever.**

 **Kato could have at least put Rin in as having a delinquent hate for the religion or something (** which would be pretty interesting and not have to take the lime-light in anyway particular **) or Yukio struggling with the fact that he's supposed to have a faith but can't bring himself to believe in it (** totally would be in character for him **) and even have those ideals clash with others. It would have been a pretty overall, simple, subtle, awesome thing to add into the story line as an underlying plot.**

 **But, Kato didn't and I can't really blame him. It would be alienating a good portion of any readers that pick up the manga in Japan (** and lord knows this fandom is small enough **) because in Japan it's not a religion most can relate to, or even really understand. It would be a shot in the foot essentially for sales- so i'm here to fill this hole in as a die-hard fan.**

 **With my head cannon that Rin is more religious on the back burner then the series makes him out to be, and that yes, Yukio does avoid it at all costs because of internal doubts. Also, a complementing head cannon that despite Bon knowing all those verses he isn't very religious himself.**

 **Reviews are especially appreciated!**

 **P.S. Blue Jade is a thing and Rin's Rosmary _is_ blue jade, it promotes serenity and clear thinking. We're not going to ask why such an expensive necklace was thrown into a bush, but go with it anyway. ( * v ^) **


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